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THe last letter to SELO from Diana
Hi dear. It's been a month and four days from the date you blocked me. And I was thinking about everything a lot in that time. I wrote 5 messages for you but you will never read them. So I think that it is my last letter for all the rest of my life. I am writing with hope that one day you will read that, somewhere and somehow. Probably by typing in google something.
So I decided that I really hurt you and I understand your position and feelings. A month ago I thought that if I could I even haven't met my ex boo. But now I think that it is not fair. I spent some nice time with him. But he is hurt now too, and I feel the guilt because I hurt two very important people of my life that meant a lot for me. And I understood that even if I was close with him, our relationship was not as close as was mine and yours. You and I even thought the same...
I do not know if it was love for you, but it was something special. And I am sorry that when I came back to Lit I didn't write you even a hi. I am sure that if I had done that, everything would be different now. You know, I am afraid that I just know how to hurt other people, and I am scared that I won't be able to be happy in my further life. But we will see. No,,, I will see.
And I understood that you were so hurt when we talked for that the last week. It seemed like you hated me. And I am sure that one part of you did so. And I am sure that you will never forgive me of that. But when I told you to block me, I didn't really expect that you would do that. And you did it so suddenly. When I saw that I got so big kick to my heart. I understood that the God punches me because I hurt you and him, so I need to get hurt too. By the way I talked to my ex boo few days ago. He cried a lot and it was so painful for me. I just was thinking that he feels the same as me he is afraid to lose me and I was afraid to lose you again. But life is life..
So I think I should finish the letter, and I hope you will be happy soon. And maybe I am selfish but I hope that I will be too. I hope I will learn how to live without hurting anyone....
So now it is time to say bye and probably for all life. But I hope to meet you in the hell. Preferably in the heaven, but who knows :D I am sure that I will always remember you because you were one of those people that feel the same like me. Haha, sorry if it was a bit romantic :) And it took me to write it almost an hour. Omg Selahattin, you took so much time from my life! Hehe :P And by the way. I tried to find your email again, but I think u deleted your account from one of the internet pages and I could not find it :/ Fucking google! :D So, I will try to invent the medicine to kill cancer tonight, coz I havent finished it yet..
So you are my ex lovely donkey, and I send you the last hug, the last kiss, the last touch
but not the last mind ;( I am sorry that I didnt accept to open the cam, I really wished but I was so scared that you wont like me alive :) And thanks for the song ch. Millian us against the world It always remindes me of you. And you should download eminems and rihannas song I love the way you lie. I love it. :D Hope you will not forget me- the Genius :D Sorry because of the things that I made
:* (ninja) So
. Bye my ex mööööööööö